we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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