I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
