Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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