You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize