I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
