complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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