You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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