How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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