if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
