its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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