I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its liver damage thursday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
