mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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