Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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