Quick, to the slutcave!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
