I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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