You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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