the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
