i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
