Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
