I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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