omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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