My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
