While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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