She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
