They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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