We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
