Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
