Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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