Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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