I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
