I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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