Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
