I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
