So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
