It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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