Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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