Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
