lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
