hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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