Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
