I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
