You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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