So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
