yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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