I wish I could punch you in the face.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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