thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
