The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
