try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
