Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
