Got a toothbrush?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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