i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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