i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
