Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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