can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i drank out of a bidet.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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