dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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