i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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