That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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