Sry I called you an 8
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
